Turning 18 - Was it good or bad?
How did you or your parents handle it?
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I was curious as to how many of you who are parents of older children, handled them when they turned 18, as well I am curious about many of you when you turned 18, how did your parents handle you and how did you behave?
I'm asking because in my blog entitled Privacy Policy, regarding the privacy policies of most universities and colleges here in the US, I wondered at why they wouldn't notify parents if their child was seriously ill or had some other problems that I as a parent would want to know about. I don't think that I was being weird in that regard and don't think that I was being overbearing in what I expected.
Although as many of the comments stated that they were against this and it would be an infringement of the 18 year old rights to privacy since they were adults now, I really don't see anything wrong in alerting a next of kin or parent or whomever is listed on that individual paperwork to inform them that something is wrong.
That being said, I am currently trying to guide my soon to be 18 year old who will be 18 in three months. She's about to graduate from high school and we're very proud of her. We are being the same protective and caring parents we have always been throughout her life in letting her live her life and guide her to choices that will work for her. I don't think that we're being nosy parents in what we're doing. She has a boyfriend now, she's working, although she wants to quit that job, which we told her, if this is what she wants to do, we're fine with it, it's up to her. She has decisions she's trying to make and as I've always told her, we're here for you, just let us know when you need us to help, such as in giving advice and being an ear to a problem.
I still have rules in place such as curfews, being home by midnight, unless it's an event such as her Prom, where she didn't get home until 4am and which I stayed up until she got home. All she had to do was check in with me at 1am, which she did.
She still has telephone curfew, no calls after 10pm, although I know she does break that rule sometimes. The telephone rules are in place until she finishes with school. She still has to let me know when she is going off anywhere, where she will be and whom she will be with. Not because I want to hold her like a prisoner, but because she's my child and I want to know that she's alright. If in the course of being out, they end up elsewhere, I don't need to know that. If they are going to be late getting home, I need her to call so that I don't worry. I however, do not restrict her from doing anything she wants to do. I want her to experience and enjoy life the way I was able to when I was her age.
She will be considered an adult soon, by law, and also by us her parents. We have made her understand that being an adult comes with responsibilities and that doesn't mean that we plan to kick her out. We hope that she will go off to college, community college or wherever she wants to go, since she has not made up her mind yet. She still needs a push and a nudge to get her cracking on making decisions at times, and this does not an adult makes.
It's a scary place to be with lots of decisions to make and I know just how she feels. At her age, I thank heavens that my parents were there for me when I needed them and they let go of me enough to allow me to discover who I was at that time.
I know that for some young adults they can't wait to get out from under their parents, they are free and liberated to make their own decisions and do their own things. Sometimes that liberation comes at the perfect time for some and at the worse time for others. The behaviour of many will depend on what their home-life was like in the way their actions affect themselves and others around them.
It's not an easy road being a parent, but I know with love and understanding our children will be better off because we care.
I'm asking because in my blog entitled Privacy Policy, regarding the privacy policies of most universities and colleges here in the US, I wondered at why they wouldn't notify parents if their child was seriously ill or had some other problems that I as a parent would want to know about. I don't think that I was being weird in that regard and don't think that I was being overbearing in what I expected.
Although as many of the comments stated that they were against this and it would be an infringement of the 18 year old rights to privacy since they were adults now, I really don't see anything wrong in alerting a next of kin or parent or whomever is listed on that individual paperwork to inform them that something is wrong.
That being said, I am currently trying to guide my soon to be 18 year old who will be 18 in three months. She's about to graduate from high school and we're very proud of her. We are being the same protective and caring parents we have always been throughout her life in letting her live her life and guide her to choices that will work for her. I don't think that we're being nosy parents in what we're doing. She has a boyfriend now, she's working, although she wants to quit that job, which we told her, if this is what she wants to do, we're fine with it, it's up to her. She has decisions she's trying to make and as I've always told her, we're here for you, just let us know when you need us to help, such as in giving advice and being an ear to a problem.
I still have rules in place such as curfews, being home by midnight, unless it's an event such as her Prom, where she didn't get home until 4am and which I stayed up until she got home. All she had to do was check in with me at 1am, which she did.
She still has telephone curfew, no calls after 10pm, although I know she does break that rule sometimes. The telephone rules are in place until she finishes with school. She still has to let me know when she is going off anywhere, where she will be and whom she will be with. Not because I want to hold her like a prisoner, but because she's my child and I want to know that she's alright. If in the course of being out, they end up elsewhere, I don't need to know that. If they are going to be late getting home, I need her to call so that I don't worry. I however, do not restrict her from doing anything she wants to do. I want her to experience and enjoy life the way I was able to when I was her age.
She will be considered an adult soon, by law, and also by us her parents. We have made her understand that being an adult comes with responsibilities and that doesn't mean that we plan to kick her out. We hope that she will go off to college, community college or wherever she wants to go, since she has not made up her mind yet. She still needs a push and a nudge to get her cracking on making decisions at times, and this does not an adult makes.
It's a scary place to be with lots of decisions to make and I know just how she feels. At her age, I thank heavens that my parents were there for me when I needed them and they let go of me enough to allow me to discover who I was at that time.
I know that for some young adults they can't wait to get out from under their parents, they are free and liberated to make their own decisions and do their own things. Sometimes that liberation comes at the perfect time for some and at the worse time for others. The behaviour of many will depend on what their home-life was like in the way their actions affect themselves and others around them.
It's not an easy road being a parent, but I know with love and understanding our children will be better off because we care.
! Your dad's a pretty wise and funny guy!
