On Happiness

Sometimes the only way I come out of a gloomy mood is to just let all that moodiness drain out of me...I can only be mad, sad, worried for so long, then I'm like, "okay, enough of that...". I'll then proceed to throwing myself into something--reading, cleaning, etc.--anything to get things off my mind.

It's also nice when you have support. Sometimes when I've failed to get myself out of a dark mood, a loved one usually does the trick--converses with me, makes me laugh, or just keeps me company.

Here is sending some smiles and sunshine your way, Cordelia.   

Acceptance of the world and the people in it is what helps me maintain my sanity. Acceptance, but not necessarily approval. This helps me to focus on my own needs instead of constantly trying to change others, as I'm otherwise apt to do. However, being grateful is what makes me truly happy.

I can't offer any words of wisdom about negativity.

I just purge it out of my system, by talking, writing, whatever, and then get on with the living.

Great article woman.

Oh, I forgot to mention things like watching Heroes on TV, and old episodes of Stargate SG1 borrowed from the library, and reading Lois McMaster Bujold's latest series, and so on. Someone once told to me to watch a Disney movie whenever I felt blue. That works too. Beats the news.

While a positive mental attitude can certainly help you to heal faster, I doubt you willed your illness away. Stomach flu’s are very short duration, sometimes lasting only a few hours. That’s why you feel so sick; your body’s using all it’s energy to fight off the invaders

I think you can ether will yourself to be happy or you can’t. The ability is at the core of someone’s personality and is not learned skill IMO. If your not one of these lucky individuals there are ways to temporarily trick yourself into being happy. Laughter is the easiest way to artificial happiness and has been scientifically proven to alter your brain chemistry even if you’re forcing yourself to laugh for no reason. Just listening to a tape of laughter has the same effect.

Eventually I come to my senses and start dwelling on things again cause that’s my personality.

Cordelia:  I can only speak for myself on happiness.  I've found it in the simplest of things,  like watching birds at the feeder,  feeding two Mallard hens that landed in my yard this summer,  being wrapped up in a blanket on a cold day sipping on cocoa.

I recently had bad news and I knew if I worried about it,  the negative thoughts would snowball and it would affect my physical health as well as my mental well being,  so I tried to focus on the things that I do and can take charge of,  thought about the good things that can happen if things don't go as planned for me.

I think it's human to have our feelings,  it's just that we don't have to let them have charge of our lives!  Yes I feel hurt,  however.....I can do something with that.  Something good   If something we want doesn't work out,  we can take stock of what's left to work with. 

The other day I took some of my chili down to the neighbors,  and they just loved it,  so much so that she wants my recipe and she brought down another bag of frozen walleyes,  that she knows I'm crazy for.  Just finding out how much they enjoyed the chili was a moment of happiness along with the original intent which was to share.  Happiness is all over,  sometimes one stumbles on it too.

Doctors say that the single greatest healing elixir known to man is the power of positive thinking.  All my adult life, I have done that.  When I get sick, I do not rush to the medicine cabinet, instead just tough it out with the motto that "if my body fights it off on its own, it will be stronger for it".  As a result, while my wife gets lots of colds and bugs, I get few.  And the few I do get do not last long.

power of positive thinking

It's even a branch of medical research now: Psychoneuroimmunology

Sorry for the dealy in my response gang, I've been really busy this week!

It's also nice when you have support. Sometimes when I've failed to get myself out of a dark mood, a loved one usually does the trick--converses with me, makes me laugh, or just keeps me company. Here is sending some smiles and sunshine your way, Cordelia.

InBloom - So true, it often helps to have someone to talk to! Thanks for the sunshine, too.

However, being grateful is what makes me truly happy.

So, kind of like counting your blessings? I don't think I do that enough, quite frankly. I dwell on the negative...which is what prodded this whole article in the first place!

I think you can ether will yourself to be happy or you can’t. The ability is at the core of someone’s personality and is not learned skill IMO.

That's another thing that prompted this whole article. The "experts" - if such a thing can exist - say that you can train yourself to think more positively. It takes time...a LONG time, and effort, but it can be done. I suppose my saying "no it can't!" is just another example of negative thinking. (And I also dwell on things)

being wrapped up in a blanket on a cold day sipping on cocoa.

Now that does sound like happiness!

Doctors say that the single greatest healing elixir known to man is the power of positive thinking.

Yes, I think that must be true. However, it's the positive thinking that I sometimes have a problem with. I dwell on the negative, like stubbyfinger. I want to change that. I'm trying to change that.

It's even a branch of medical research now: Psychoneuroimmunology

Cool! I'll have to check it out.

Thanks for commenting all! I hope you are all happy and thinking positive thoughts.

 

Double post

A few years ago, I was very ill. I lost a lot of weight and was in constant pain. The only thing that helped me through this was my attitude. Up until then, I'd been accused by different people over my life of basically being too enthusiastic. If I hadn't been an enthusiast (don't know if this is a real word but it suits anyway) I am certain my illness would have been a whole lot worse.

Like everyone, I have negative thoughts and feelings. I try to address these when they arise but won't allow myself to dwell on them. Maybe I'm fooling myself, but it really works for me.

Great article...

Like everyone, I have negative thoughts and feelings. I try to address these when they arise but won't allow myself to dwell on them. Maybe I'm fooling myself, but it really works for me.

I would very much like to adopt that attitude for myself. Apparently it takes "work" to change your mental habits. I'm not sure I like the idea of this "work" stuff, but I guess it's the only option available to me.

I can't offer any words of wisdom about negativity. I just purge it out of my system, by talking, writing, whatever, and then get on with the living. Great article woman.

Ohh, Tova, I'm so sorry I missed responding to your comment the first time around. I sometimes have a hard time purging the negative thoughts, but I think a change to activity would be useful. ometimes I even blog.

Thanks very much for the response!

reading Lois McMaster Bujold's latest series

She is my favorite author. FAVORITE! Come to think of it, reading one of her books does make me happy. Thanks!

What works for me is simple meditation techniques. I'm not talking about the usual 'sitting in a quiet space, thinking of nothing and concentrating on breathing' sort of meditation. I find if I do this, I generally nod off.

My technique involves simple affirmations, which I repeat like a manta - things like 'Positive, happy, fun and relaxed', for instance. I repeat them when I'm exercising, walking, going to sleep, under the shower, doing housework etc. Again, I can't say whether this works for everyone but it certainly works for me.

The one thing I will say is if you follow this technique, use positive language in your affirmations. Words like 'don't', 'not', 'can't, etc have an affect on the subconcious and can infect your concious mind with negativity.

Ooo, I just realised how the above sounds like a lot of hippy dribble    As I said, no guarantees are offered but this is what works for me.

Ooo, I just realised how the above sounds like a lot of hippy dribble

Lol, I suppose it does, but the very nature of the question invites that response. I hear that this is exactly what you are supposed to do - recognize that you are having negative thoughts, try and banish them, and replace them with positive. It's just very hard to do when you are stuck in a rut of negativity. I'm trying to change that. Perhaps I'll revisit this blog in a few months when I'm back in that rut and try to remind myself to "stop it!".

but the very nature of the question invites that response

Phew, I'd hate for you to think I was a saddle-wearing, tie-dying, wooly-haired 60's leftover.

It's just very hard to do when you are stuck in a rut of negativity

Indeed it is. I derived a lot of my beliefs from a book called 'Mind Power Into The 21st Century'by John Kehoe. I find it most useful because he cuts through all the esoteric bulls#%t most self-help books espouse and keeps it honest and simple. Check it out, it is really good. He also has an online site:WWW Link

Ohh, Tova, I'm so sorry I missed responding to your comment the first time around

No problem.

Hope you are having good thoughts!  

Hopefully you're having a much better day Cordelia.

For myself, I talk and pray aloud, in conversations with God. I know, it might sound silly, but I have conversations and I 'air' my concerns and when I talk it out, I find myself thinking of solutions I didn't see before. I sometimes write as well.

I find that when I do dwell on things, it makes me very grumpy and unhappy and I don't like being that person so I usually do something to cheer myself up. Like a walk, a workout, watch a fav program on tv or a fav movie or just listening to music and dancing to it as well. Being silly with the children as well helps to get my mind off things that are too intense.

But I do believe that positive affirmations work, as Maso said, they really do and I use that sometimes as well.

I'd lend you my baby but I doubt she'd have the same affect on you as she does on me

Seriously, I think there are different answers to "getting happy" depending on what is preventing your happiness. If it is "attitude", obviously a lot of the things that others have suggested like meditation and "counting blessings" (which I do constantly), are good solutions. However, if the problem is chemical, and no, I don't mean drug induced (although it can be), it is a bit more complicated matter.

I have only had a few experiences with chemically induced unhappiness. I experienced different levels of "blues" following the births of my 3 children. I also experienced issues when I was on vicodin when I broke my leg. I tend to get the blues when I'm very ill also. Happiness is a bit more illusive under such circumstances.

I am extremely fortunate to be a happy person by default. When I'm unhappy it is because something or someone has altered my default state. As you know, I am very close with someone who is quite the opposite.

Right now, having my dear childhood friend battling cancer, I am happy any day I wake up, can breathe, can walk, can hold my baby and take care of my family. My degree of happiness merely depends on how comfortably I can do those things. Right now I am battling my sinuses but I am still happy.

My only observation about your situation is the following, if a simple thing like sitting and reading makes you happy, perhaps your happiness tends to be hinged on expectations. Maybe lowered expectations is all you need to be happier If that doesn't work, meet me for a Margarita and we'll work it out

'Mind Power Into The 21st Century'by John Kehoe

I'll check it out, thanks Dynamaso!

Hope you are having good thoughts!

Thanks Tova...it's back and forth but I'm trying.

I'd lend you my baby but I doubt she'd have the same affect on you as she does on me

She IS a bundle of pure joy! While I was having negative thoughts when I wrote this article and have them now and again, the real issue is not the blues or the negative thoughts, but getting stuck in a rut with them. One bad thought seems to lead to another, and before I know it I've talked myself into a very bad place. I'd like to be able to recognize those moments and then STOP doing what I'm doing to myself it would be...nice.

I find reading helpful because it gets me out of my own head. Going out with friends is nice too...Logan's, anyone?

What makes me happy is thinking of times when my two daughters were younger. I can still remember both times when they told me, without my prompting or saying it first, that they loved me. I remember my first "Daddy." I remember when they had a fight with a friend at school and came to me in tears. I remember the first time they thought a boy was cute and the inevitable crushed heart that soon followed. I remember rocking them to sleep each night on my lap and singing our favorite song to them and telling them how absolutely perfect they were.

Kids, it's the very definition of joy.

Link

Kids, it's the very definition of joy.

Yes...that's what I hear.  I guess it all comes down to finding your bliss, whatever it may be. Now, if only I could remember where I put my bliss.

MasonM

Awesome link. I'm going to add that to favorites and pull it out whenever I need a pick-me-up.

 

Thank you both. You know what makes me happy? Meeting people online and hearing about their days, either on my blog or on theirs. Really, to everyone who has commented here; it means a lot to me.