On being a slut....thank you JeremyG I borrowed your thread
Or NOT as the case may be....
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
JeremyG's thread got me thinking...about the whole madonna/whore paradigm in western society...as I alluded to in another post women are STILL in many ways trapped by the double standard. If you aren't in a relationship and aren't seen to have a sexual side you're frigid...or if you aren't in a relationship and ARE seen to have a sexual side you're a slut. Wtf is this anyway? You'd think listening to Mr.Bush and Mr.Howard that there had never been a sexual revolution...I'm sure they'd like to erase it if they could. All this talk about the "selfishness" of women wanting (gasp) a career, and children or maybe even some choices in their lives like not having to stay married when you don't want too or if you happen to get pregnant and don't want another child the freedom to have control over your own body, to not have your destiny mapped out for you by your reproductive system. Or how you cannot possibly be a good mother and a sexual human being. We have all sorts of strange imagery and ideologies in the West...not to say theire isn't strange stuff elsewhere but we do live in a Western context.
As I mentioned before after my marriage imploded I went through this stage of worrying about whether or not I'd ever get laid again...it was a natural reaction to my ex's midlife crisis which involved having an affair with one of my best friends...such a wonderful, introspective individual he is...:P and I made love ALOT. And I learnt a fair bit, about myself, men, my own feelings and what I want from a relationship. I regret none of it.
I mean when you think about it logically...you get into bed with someone (or the couch, a chair the backseat, the floor, outdoors :P) and you make each other feel really good. Where is the real harm in that? Nakedness and sexuality has been idealised as either "bad" or "dirty" or as this higher process that is only acceptable in the context of "love" or children. This simply isn't true. When you consider that scientfically the sexual drive is the most prominent feature of our physiology after breathing it kind of puts it in perspective. If you can seperate sexuality from the Christian ethos it becomes a much different experience. I do not advocate using people, hurting people, making promises you don't mean or coercing people into having a sexual relationship. But if its two consenting adults it can be rich and enjoyable and can really oil the wheels of your life.
Guilt never factors in to my sexual life. Its the experience I'm after, what did I learn...what I can learn. I have no problems forming lasting relationships either. In fact I'm working on one now:) But in those times when I am not in one I'm going to continue to as the poet says "kiss the joy as it flies"
Cheers
As I mentioned before after my marriage imploded I went through this stage of worrying about whether or not I'd ever get laid again...it was a natural reaction to my ex's midlife crisis which involved having an affair with one of my best friends...such a wonderful, introspective individual he is...:P and I made love ALOT. And I learnt a fair bit, about myself, men, my own feelings and what I want from a relationship. I regret none of it.
I mean when you think about it logically...you get into bed with someone (or the couch, a chair the backseat, the floor, outdoors :P) and you make each other feel really good. Where is the real harm in that? Nakedness and sexuality has been idealised as either "bad" or "dirty" or as this higher process that is only acceptable in the context of "love" or children. This simply isn't true. When you consider that scientfically the sexual drive is the most prominent feature of our physiology after breathing it kind of puts it in perspective. If you can seperate sexuality from the Christian ethos it becomes a much different experience. I do not advocate using people, hurting people, making promises you don't mean or coercing people into having a sexual relationship. But if its two consenting adults it can be rich and enjoyable and can really oil the wheels of your life.
Guilt never factors in to my sexual life. Its the experience I'm after, what did I learn...what I can learn. I have no problems forming lasting relationships either. In fact I'm working on one now:) But in those times when I am not in one I'm going to continue to as the poet says "kiss the joy as it flies"
Cheers
