Music Review: Akon & Eminen "Smack That"
Akon & Eminen
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Smack That
Album: Konvicted
Year: 2006
Akon & Enimen pick up groupies in the inert “Smack That.”
Simplistic synths and a reserved bass open the single, setting a thrifty tone.In the intro, Akon advertises the brands used to make the song: Eminen’s label first, then his own, another record subsidiary, his name and Eminen’s nickname.
In the pre-chorus, he says he spots the girl he wants to sleep with. She’s the first pretty girl he saw so far in the night. When he approaches her, he brags that he knew she was checking him out. He saw her from the corner of his eye. He asks if he wants to take a ride in his luxury car and they can hang out at his place. He references Tae-Bo, which was trendy, for several hours during the late 90s. He says he would like to spank her.
In the chorus, he says he really likes spanking as foreplay.
In the second verse, he goes backwards and starts about how he prepares to go clubbing. First, he adorns his record-label clothes and then drives about 5 miles an hour in the club’s parking lot to get the peoples’ attention. He says his clothes are perfectly pressed. He grabs women’s butts. He decides to give one of them a call and have sex with her sex. He will buy her affection with his money and fame. He has tons of it and it will be enough to entice her.
The pre-chorus is sung again, but the first lyric is taken out.
The chorus is sung again.
In the bridge, Eminen makes his cameo appearance. In it, he says the clubgoers will be amazed when they hear Akon’s new single. Then, after the obligatory promotional message, his eye catches a stripper. He notices the nails on her toes and hands are an even oval-shape. Not a hint of dirt can be seen in them. She scales the poles with grace and looks like a member of the Pussycat Dolls. He’s aroused, to which she’s aware. She taps him on the shoulder and exclaims that he’s Eminen. He says that he is and asks her to sleep with him. He says he lives only a mile away and it’ll be a short trip. She’ll be back in time for her next dance. He boasts he lives in a mansion and she should invite a girlfriend. He’s with Akon and he would like to have a girl, too.
The pre-chorus and chorus are sung again.
In the third verse, he namedrops Eminen by saying he’s getting women, too. They will be using a strategy and scoring like crazy all night.
The pre-chorus and chorus are sung again to close the single.
Akon’s programmed, lackadaisical vocals are juvenile and spoiled. Whatever he wants, he thinks he should get. Women should flock to him and since he’s famous, he can grope them without consequence. They are conquests and nothing more. But he’s not the reason people will even give the song the air on the radio.
Eminen’s the main attraction, though, not Akon. The song is built around him and he's namedropped by Akon constantly. It's as though Akon is Eminen's spokesperson. Usually in rap songs, the rappers talk about how great they are, not the competition.
Eminen’s sharp, spirited rap zips, injecting some life into an otherwise dead single. Nonetheless, he manages one clever line (“Looking like one of them putty-cat dolls”) and efficient rhymes. They are conversational, eliminating the slang which often dates rap singles, and at least somewhat descriptive. The speed he uses fits the single much better.
The bargain bin arrangement has been made cheaply from flea market beats and a musty bass. It taps the floor as synth clinks along. Its dubious claim as a thumping hit is discredited by its dourness.
The atrocious “Smack That” is a cross-promotional disaster.
Album: Konvicted
Year: 2006
Akon & Enimen pick up groupies in the inert “Smack That.”
Simplistic synths and a reserved bass open the single, setting a thrifty tone.In the intro, Akon advertises the brands used to make the song: Eminen’s label first, then his own, another record subsidiary, his name and Eminen’s nickname.
“Shady/Konvict/Upfront/Akon/Slim Shady.”
In the pre-chorus, he says he spots the girl he wants to sleep with. She’s the first pretty girl he saw so far in the night. When he approaches her, he brags that he knew she was checking him out. He saw her from the corner of his eye. He asks if he wants to take a ride in his luxury car and they can hang out at his place. He references Tae-Bo, which was trendy, for several hours during the late 90s. He says he would like to spank her.
“I see the one, because she be that lady! Hey!/I feel you creeping, I can see it from my shadow/Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo/Maybe go to my place and just kick it like TaeBo/And possibly bend you over look back and watch me.”
In the chorus, he says he really likes spanking as foreplay.
“Smack that all on the floor/Smack that give me some more/Smack that 'till you get sore/Smack that oh-oh!/Smack that all on the floor/Smack that give me some more/Smack that 'till you get sore/
Smack that oh-oh!”
In the second verse, he goes backwards and starts about how he prepares to go clubbing. First, he adorns his record-label clothes and then drives about 5 miles an hour in the club’s parking lot to get the peoples’ attention. He says his clothes are perfectly pressed. He grabs women’s butts. He decides to give one of them a call and have sex with her sex. He will buy her affection with his money and fame. He has tons of it and it will be enough to entice her.
“Upfront style ready to attack now/Pull in the parking lot slow with the lac down/Convicts got the whole thing packed now/Step in the club now and wardrobe intact now!/I feel it down and cracked now (ooh)/I see it dull and backed now/I'm gonna call her, than I pull the mack down/Money no problem, pocket full of that now!”
The pre-chorus is sung again, but the first lyric is taken out.
“I feel you creeping, I can see it from my shadow/Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo/Maybe go to my place and just kick it like TaeBo/And possibly bend you over look back and watch me.”
The chorus is sung again.
In the bridge, Eminen makes his cameo appearance. In it, he says the clubgoers will be amazed when they hear Akon’s new single. Then, after the obligatory promotional message, his eye catches a stripper. He notices the nails on her toes and hands are an even oval-shape. Not a hint of dirt can be seen in them. She scales the poles with grace and looks like a member of the Pussycat Dolls. He’s aroused, to which she’s aware. She taps him on the shoulder and exclaims that he’s Eminen. He says that he is and asks her to sleep with him. He says he lives only a mile away and it’ll be a short trip. She’ll be back in time for her next dance. He boasts he lives in a mansion and she should invite a girlfriend. He’s with Akon and he would like to have a girl, too.
“Oh, looks like another club banger/They better hang on when they throw this thing on/Get a lil’ drink on/They gonna flip for this Akon shit/You can bank on it!/Pedicure, manicure kitty-cat claws/The way she climbs up and down them poles/Looking like one of them putty-cat dolls/Trying to hold my woodie back through my draws/Steps upstage didn't think I saw/Creeps up behind me, she's like "You're!"/I'm like ya I know let’s cut to the chase/No time to waste back to my place/Plus from the club to the crib it's like a mile away/Or more like a palace, shall I say/Plus I got pal if your gal is game/In fact he is the one singing the song that's playing/"Akon!"
The pre-chorus and chorus are sung again.
In the third verse, he namedrops Eminen by saying he’s getting women, too. They will be using a strategy and scoring like crazy all night.
“Eminem is rollin', d and ‘em rollin' bo/And all marvelous them rolling/Women just holding big booty rolling/Soon I'll be on Eminem throwing "D!"/Hitting on less than "Three!"/Block wheel style like "Whee!"/Girl I can tell you want me because lately.”
The pre-chorus and chorus are sung again to close the single.
Akon’s programmed, lackadaisical vocals are juvenile and spoiled. Whatever he wants, he thinks he should get. Women should flock to him and since he’s famous, he can grope them without consequence. They are conquests and nothing more. But he’s not the reason people will even give the song the air on the radio.
Eminen’s the main attraction, though, not Akon. The song is built around him and he's namedropped by Akon constantly. It's as though Akon is Eminen's spokesperson. Usually in rap songs, the rappers talk about how great they are, not the competition.
Eminen’s sharp, spirited rap zips, injecting some life into an otherwise dead single. Nonetheless, he manages one clever line (“Looking like one of them putty-cat dolls”) and efficient rhymes. They are conversational, eliminating the slang which often dates rap singles, and at least somewhat descriptive. The speed he uses fits the single much better.
The bargain bin arrangement has been made cheaply from flea market beats and a musty bass. It taps the floor as synth clinks along. Its dubious claim as a thumping hit is discredited by its dourness.
The atrocious “Smack That” is a cross-promotional disaster.
