Music Review: Fergie "London Bridge"
Fergie
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London Bridge
Album: The Dutchess
Year: 2006
Fergie gets sloshed and feels up every guy at the club in the beastly “London Bridge.”
In the intro, producer Polow Da Don exclaims his excitement to hear Fergie. A siren goes off, first at high-pitch. Then, it stays at a dying montone, as though the battery were low. Horns blare and the percussion tinkles. Fergie asks people if they are prepared for her shocking style. It sets a chaotic tone. Polow asks her how she’s doing as Fergie calls herself a pimp for getting all the guys.
In the first verse, Fergie announces herself as she moves to the front of the line at the club, demanding that people make room for to get through. She hears people sneer but she snipes back that she’s a star and is entitled to the celebrity treatment. Everyone else is a mere mortal. But as long as they buy her music and are dedicated fans, she loves them. Once in the club, she and her girlfriends and rub their butts on the dance floor. She says that lets her naughty self out when she dances. However, the rest of the time, she’s a proper girl. It’s how she has fun and if people want to name her, that’s fine.
In the chorus, she compares her heart to the London Bridge as she falls for every hot guy. Then, it breaks again once he leaves.
In the second verse, she says she gets drunk after several vodka shots. Suddenly, even the ugly guys catch her eye. After awhile, the vodka makes her unhibited and she’s walking around in the club, barefoot and complaining about the photographers. She scowls at them to get away from or get hit with mace. She says her plump lips and rhythm draw people to her and make her famous.
The chorus is sung again.
In the bridge, the chorus is cut off and the synths slow down. Polow “whups” as Fergie drunkenly rambles nonsense. Then, the chaotic arrangement starts up again as she says she’s an overnight sensation. She loves her fans and her girlfriends will encourage her career.
The first verse is sung again.
The chorus is sung again.
In the outro, Polow exclaims the song is a hit and the people that hate it are idiots.
Fergie’s a party girl who likes to skank it up. Then rationalizes it as her club personality in order to convince herself, she’s not living an empty life. She loves being famous and will use any perk she can get it. She doesn’t care if anyone gets hurt or mistreated along way. However, she prefers only the positive aspects of celebrity. Paparazzi are a pain and she would rather not have them expose her real image than her carefully constructed, focus-group tested version of her.
Fergie’s crackwhore vocals are insolent and plastered. She’s one insufferable drunk.
The foul arrangement vomits self-importance and jumbled instruments, which seemed to be patched together with the cheapest production possible.
“London Bridge” is a horrendous hangover that even canned asparagus couldn’t cure.
Album: The Dutchess
Year: 2006
Fergie gets sloshed and feels up every guy at the club in the beastly “London Bridge.”
In the intro, producer Polow Da Don exclaims his excitement to hear Fergie. A siren goes off, first at high-pitch. Then, it stays at a dying montone, as though the battery were low. Horns blare and the percussion tinkles. Fergie asks people if they are prepared for her shocking style. It sets a chaotic tone. Polow asks her how she’s doing as Fergie calls herself a pimp for getting all the guys.
“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit/Are you ready for this?/Oh, shit!/Oh!/It's me/
Fergie/The pimp/Polow/Fergie Ferg, what's up baby?!/Come on.”
In the first verse, Fergie announces herself as she moves to the front of the line at the club, demanding that people make room for to get through. She hears people sneer but she snipes back that she’s a star and is entitled to the celebrity treatment. Everyone else is a mere mortal. But as long as they buy her music and are dedicated fans, she loves them. Once in the club, she and her girlfriends and rub their butts on the dance floor. She says that lets her naughty self out when she dances. However, the rest of the time, she’s a proper girl. It’s how she has fun and if people want to name her, that’s fine.
“When I come to the clubs, step aside (Oh, shit)/Pop the seats, don't be hating me in the line (Oh, shit)/V.I.P 'cause you know I gotta shine (Oh, shit)/I'm Fergie Ferg/And me love you long time (Oh shit)/All my girls get down on the floor (Oh, shit)/Back to back drop it down real low (Oh, shit)/I'm such a lady but I'm dancing like a ho (Oh, shit)/Cause you know I don't give a fuck so here we go! (Oh shit).”
In the chorus, she compares her heart to the London Bridge as she falls for every hot guy. Then, it breaks again once he leaves.
“How come every time you come around/My London London Bridge wanna go down/Like London London London wanna go down/
Like London London London be going down like/ How come every time you come around/My London London Bridge wanna go down/Like London London London wanna go down/Like London London London be going down like.”
In the second verse, she says she gets drunk after several vodka shots. Suddenly, even the ugly guys catch her eye. After awhile, the vodka makes her unhibited and she’s walking around in the club, barefoot and complaining about the photographers. She scowls at them to get away from or get hit with mace. She says her plump lips and rhythm draw people to her and make her famous.
“The drinks start pouring/And my speech start slurring/Everybody start looking real good (Oh, shit)/The Grey Goose got your girl feeling loose/Now I'm wishing that I didn't wear these shoes (I hate heels)/It's like every time I get up on the dude/Paparazzi put my business in the news/And I'm like get up out my face (oh, shit)/'Fore I turn around and spray your ass with mace (oh, shit)/My lips make you wanna have a taste (oh, shit)/You got that? I got the bass (Uh).”
The chorus is sung again.
In the bridge, the chorus is cut off and the synths slow down. Polow “whups” as Fergie drunkenly rambles nonsense. Then, the chaotic arrangement starts up again as she says she’s an overnight sensation. She loves her fans and her girlfriends will encourage her career.
“Ah, da, da, da, da, doo, doo, doo, doo/Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right/Fergie love em' long time/My girls support right?/Ah, da, da, da, da, doo, doo, doo, doo/Doo, doo, doo, doo/Ah, da, da, da, da, doo, doo, doo, doo/Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right/Fergie love em' long time/My girls support right?/Another A.T.O./Cali collabo/Fergie and Paulo.”
The first verse is sung again.
The chorus is sung again.
In the outro, Polow exclaims the song is a hit and the people that hate it are idiots.
“Shittin' all over the world/Fuck you bitches!”
Fergie’s a party girl who likes to skank it up. Then rationalizes it as her club personality in order to convince herself, she’s not living an empty life. She loves being famous and will use any perk she can get it. She doesn’t care if anyone gets hurt or mistreated along way. However, she prefers only the positive aspects of celebrity. Paparazzi are a pain and she would rather not have them expose her real image than her carefully constructed, focus-group tested version of her.
Fergie’s crackwhore vocals are insolent and plastered. She’s one insufferable drunk.
The foul arrangement vomits self-importance and jumbled instruments, which seemed to be patched together with the cheapest production possible.
“London Bridge” is a horrendous hangover that even canned asparagus couldn’t cure.