Parents, Can I discipline your child?

from JoeUser Forums
The other day I was at the library using a computer. The computers are scattered around the library so there's no separate lab. There were two little girls playing on a computer near me. They were the cutest things and just full of giggles.

The got up and walked away from the computer. A few minutes later they came running by me and one of them bumped into me. I said, "Girls, please no running." The slowed down and quited down. But then, I thought, do I have the right to say anything to them? Is some parent behind me waiting to discipline me for disciplining their child?

What do you think? Is it OK for me to tell your child what to do?

BTW, these two little girls were probably around 8 or 9 years old and were at the library alone.
3,531 views 21 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I would call that an admonishment, not discipline. 
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
OHhhhhhhhhh you tell someones child over here what to do the parents beat you up!

Sad state of affairs, but true.

The parents are as undisciplined as the kids. (me and mine included! heheh)

Seriously though if the wrong mum here heard you do that, they would have belted you one. Not all are like that, many are though.

,
would call that an admonishment, not discipline.


be that as it may Dr G, you would still catch a klonk on the jaw here..... ouch!

My daughters (20) partner has an 8 year old girl that she plays mum to, the neighbour said something to the child (about being careful not to scratch his car or something), the partner went over there and knocked the bejeebies out of him and yelling racist abuse at his family.

I was shocked to say the least when my daughter related the story to me. Horrified at his behaviour and at my daughter for living with such a man. He was arrested though and charged. Serves him right. *wishing I could my daughter away from him*

You just never know how people are going to react over here. The neighbour was well within his rights to say something to the girl, she was kicking up gravel next to his car. I certainly would have said something if I were him.




Siege of Centauri
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
be that as it may Dr G, you would still catch a klonk on the jaw here..... ouch!


I know your response is a very serious one, and I do understand. But klonk on the jaw? I love your coloquialisms!  
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

Nah, if I wasn't standing there it is perfectly fine for you to correct my kids....as long as you don't reach out and put your hands on them since you are a total stranger to them.

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

as long as you don't reach out and put your hands on them since you are a total stranger to them.

Basically my point.  But then we are not English, and so dont "klonk" too many people.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
My daughters (20) partner has an 8 year old girl that she plays mum to, the neighbour said something to the child (about being careful not to scratch his car or something), the partner went over there and knocked the bejeebies out of him and yelling racist abuse at his family.


Now that's just ignorance there! But this is how some people react!


If you said that to my kids QOD I would not be upset. Truthfully I've practically said the same to kids who are around me and misbehaving or something. I really don't see anything wrong with that. If it was a more biosterous group then I would have gone to the Librarians as they would be the one to do something about that, especially if the parents are around.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
What you said wasn't bad.

My kids aren't left places without me; they are always under my supervision (or the supervision of an approved adult who is specifically charged with looking out for them). If someone reprimanded my child while I was present and fully capable of dealing with the situation, I would not be pleased.

If for some odd reason I was not around, I would appreciate another adult gently reminding my children of the rules, particularly where safety is concerned.

I agree with Tova...NEVER put your hands on my child.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
If someone reprimanded my child while I was present and fully capable of dealing with the situation, I would not be pleased.


What if you didn't see what they did?

I agree with Tova...NEVER put your hands on my child.


Oh, I'd never touch a child unless they were stepping in front of a moving vehicle!

Though, some parents, I'd love to give them a "klonk" or two.   
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
What if you didn't see what they did?


I think it would depend on how the person approached the problem. If I'm two steps behind my boys and you see one of them wipe a booger on the table, I would be perfectly happy with:

a) To my child: "Yucky. Don't wipe boogers on the table. You should clean that up." (At which point my child should get something to use to clean the table)

b) To me: "Excuse me, ma'am. I don't think you saw it, but your son just wiped a booger on the table."

(At which point I should apologize to you and instruct my child to get something to clean the table)

or both a and b.

Now if you saw that and started yelling at my child and going off on him with me 2 steps behind him, I'm going to be more pissed at YOU than I am at him.

(general "you", of course)
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
think it would depend on how the person approached the problem. If I'm two steps behind my boys and you see one of them wipe a booger on the table, I would be perfectly happy with


HAHAHAHA.

I'd just laugh at that Tex and give him a wink.

Our little secret...more room out than in!
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'd just laugh at that Tex and give him a wink.


LOL, it's the first example that popped into my head. Sad, huh?

more room out than in!


Hahaha. I have one that lives by that mantra!
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sometimes I have the urge to discipline an unruly child in public...but I don't. I just never know how the parent would react if they saw me doing this. But I've been tempted so much to do it. I think how you handled it would be pretty much like I would want to: firm but not overstepping your boundaries.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Children make me frustrated. Then again, it really leads back to parenting, doesn't it? I've run into some kids are are just downright unruly, disrespectful, and basically just a pain in the ass. I wouldn't dare hit the little shits, seeing as how I would really hurt them(my hand is as big as a dinner plate...to give you some idea of what I could do) and someone would bitch at me. I think these are the future assholes of the world. And chances are, they'll do very well...because, is it not assholes that run this world? Oh well, enough of my mini rant on children...on the other hand, well behaved kids are pretty cool...I don't mind them and when I get around to sowing my seed, I really hope I don't have an asshole kid.

Oh...and no, I don't think you did anything wrong...saying something is perfectly fine in my opinion.

~Zoo
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Two words: cattle prod
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Two words: cattle prod


Have you ever felt one? One one of my dumber days I put one on my finger. My entire arm was numb for about an hour. Nope that's a bit over the top of any child I seen... but the parent...hmmmm
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Nope that's a bit over the top of any child I seen


They wet their pants anyway so who'd notice?
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
I agree 100% with Tex and Tova: keep your hands off my kids!
If my children weren't behaving I'd wanna know about it, and I've never had a problem with people saying something to my kids, as long as they were respectful in doing so.

Usually it was adults being rude to my kids! and I wanted to swat the adults!
A couple of times adults tried to pick on my kids and then they had me to deal with. That's when their fun ended and they had to deal with someone their own size.
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
BTW, 8 and 9 year olds SHOULD know full well better than to act like that in a library. (And who the hell would leave them there ALONE?)
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
If you tell kids to not run around in a playground, that would be something, but a library???? THeres nothing wrong with it moreover, kids will be kids and thats how they will behave.
I personally think there was nothing wrong with what you did,I would do the same.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
BTW, 8 and 9 year olds SHOULD know full well better than to act like that in a library. (And who the hell would leave them there ALONE?)


See, and that's one of the things that concerns me about our society. We demand that a parent feeding their children rice and beans to save a few bucks is somehow harming their child, but we turn a blind eye to parents who drop their kids off at the library door then disappear for half a day (or, worse, just shrug the kids off and send them on the way to the library because you don't DARE interrupt when Rosie's ranting on "the View". The latter children might not have all of the material luxuries of some of the others in society, but the former children more likely than not will discover a lot of wrong choices before they discover the right ones because there was no adult present to guide them.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
You politely asked them to settle down. That is not disciplining a child. I would never want someone trying to discipline my children, but I don't have any problem with treating them with respect and politely asking them to stop doing something that you don't feel is appropriate. I had a neighbor who felt it was his place in life to yell at my children because they were making too much noise playing outside. I berated him, because all he had to do was treat them like any other person as politely ask them to quiet down and they would have. I don't understand why people think that children deserve less respect than an adult counterpart. If you don't treat children with respect, than how do you expect them to treat others with respect?