Losing what I finally wanted

This past school year has been very crazy. I did things I never thought I would do ever. I turned to a rebel I guess you could say. I lied to my parents, did things I knew probably weren't right but I also lost the important thing that matter the most to me, my parents trust.
My life before high school was sad, I was made fun of by the way I dressed, how I looked, and who I was. When I moved I left that all behind me, I became a new person, someone who I liked but I still hide who I use to be, nobody knew who I was what I did, how people treated me back at my other school, I was new, different, and I fit in perfectly, everybody liked me, at least I think, yeah I can be a little ignoring at times but hey everybody can.
This year took me for a spin, my best friends who I had since freshman year were gone off to the big world on their own, at college, I had to find a new group of friends but really my group of friends I already had started to change, and I changed with them.
I hated being called miss perfect, did everything mommy and daddy told you to do, miss goody girl, or you would never do that. But I did, I did what they thought I would never do, I got invited to a party by a boy who I really liked, I knew mom and dad would never let me go so I lied I told them I was staying at a friends house, but I went to the party, I drank, and had fun, or at least what everybody else called fun. The cops came but everybody left before they came, I was stuck no way out, I was scared, how could something like this happen to me, but after that everything seemed fine I woke up the next morning fine, and it seemed like nothing happened, everything was normal.
I was wrong that Monday back to school was a night mare; everybody knew I had gone and that I stayed. Rumors spread like wildfire through out school by the end of that school day, it turned out that I had sex with the guy at his party.
I was so mad, angry, my parent s were going to find out , I was going to be in big trouble, well a week went by, and well I hadn't eaten for a whole week I couldn't. I had so many knots in my stomach and was filling so guilty that I couldn’t.
I finally got up the nerve and told my parents what I had done. They were upset, mad and confused, they wonder how I could possible have done that to them. I was hurt they were hurt and a piece was gone from my heart, I promised myself that I would never do that to them again.
I found a guy that really liked me at least he seemed to anyways it lasted for 3 weeks, I was really hoping for that one month, but it ended when he said I just want to be friends, all he was doing was looking for some, that I wouldn't give, but stupid me, it was a week before prom, and his parents forced him to go with me since I asked like when we started going out. Well he left me at prom to make a story short.
But now I think I have found someone who truly likes me for me, at least he says he does. I can talk to him about anything. He loves to talk to me, and he loves talking period. And anybody who knows me knows I love to talk. Well, I want to say things are going to last with him but, I am grounded for two weeks, and I doubt he wants to be with me now because we don't get to see each other hardly now, and what am I going to do now because when I get un-grounded I have to leave for a week, but I haven't got to talk to him so I don't know. Sorry back on track, I am grounded because well I went 4-wheeling with a couple of my friends, and my parents didn't know, but they were not really that mad about that. I was going to my friends house to swim which I did but we also went 4-wheeling after that and I was suppose to be home at ten. The 4-wheel got stuck and I lost my cell phone in the woods somewhere.
I called my parents with another phone told them I lost my phone at my friends house and couldn't find it, they really didn't see how I lost it at her house and couldn't find it, but they said alright come home and you can look for it tomorrow, I was okay until, my mom got a call from a girl saying she found my phone in the woods, now my mom knew I was somewhere else. So they were ticked and I told them where I was. They were okay I think about going but they would have liked it if I called. But they were angry because I lied at where I had lost my cell phone, but it all ties in I guess.
I love my parents very much but I am 17 and graduating next year, I want to live, experience something’s now so I know, what to expect, but I feel so trapped, with no freedom, I feel like a little kid.
I think my parents are worried about letting me go but I need to live I want to live. They need to let me go.
I wonder what senior year brings!

~Stacey~
2,215 views 4 replies
Reply #1 Top

Stacey,

Tell you parents the truth, always.  And tell them before or during the situation, not after.

I am a parent.  And I can tell you even when my son makes bad decisions and gets grounded, as long as he's honest I know I can trust him when he is out in the world again.  And as long as I can trust him to be honest I am willing to let him try new things.

Once the trust is gone....so goes the freedom.

Reply #2 Top

I have an almost 14 year old who wants the same thing that you wanted: trust.

She's learning that she has to earn it.  If I tell her to be home by 9 and she rolls in at 9:15, she doesn't get to go out again the next night. 

Trust has to be earned, Stacey.  You gave your parents no reason to trust you once, and since then you haven't exactly given then consistent reasons to trust you either.  If you were my kid, I'd be watching you like a hawk and micro-managing your every move.  You wouldn't like it...and my response to that would be 'you should have thought about that before you got drunk (underage)  and had sex with someone you hardly know'.

You did the crime, girl.  You gots to take your licks and try to do better from now on.  Give them reasons to trust you again. Be responsible.

 

Reply #3 Top
before you got drunk (underage) and had sex with someone you hardly know'.


Actually if you read closely I did kinda drink not to the point of passing out and I never had sex with that boy, I said that rumors started at school that said I did but I didn't, It might have been missed understood, I was typing and thinking, very hard to get things always right.

Thanks so much
Stacey
Reply #4 Top

Actually if you read closely I did kinda drink not to the point of passing out and I never had sex with that boy


My bad, I thought that you did. However, you still drank and you repeatedly disobeyed your folks (the 4-wheeling thing). If I were your mom I'd be making sure I had every minute of your day accounted for.

The only thing you can do now is try to give your parents a reason to trust you again.