Losing what I finally wanted
My life before high school was sad, I was made fun of by the way I dressed, how I looked, and who I was. When I moved I left that all behind me, I became a new person, someone who I liked but I still hide who I use to be, nobody knew who I was what I did, how people treated me back at my other school, I was new, different, and I fit in perfectly, everybody liked me, at least I think, yeah I can be a little ignoring at times but hey everybody can.
This year took me for a spin, my best friends who I had since freshman year were gone off to the big world on their own, at college, I had to find a new group of friends but really my group of friends I already had started to change, and I changed with them.
I hated being called miss perfect, did everything mommy and daddy told you to do, miss goody girl, or you would never do that. But I did, I did what they thought I would never do, I got invited to a party by a boy who I really liked, I knew mom and dad would never let me go so I lied I told them I was staying at a friends house, but I went to the party, I drank, and had fun, or at least what everybody else called fun. The cops came but everybody left before they came, I was stuck no way out, I was scared, how could something like this happen to me, but after that everything seemed fine I woke up the next morning fine, and it seemed like nothing happened, everything was normal.
I was wrong that Monday back to school was a night mare; everybody knew I had gone and that I stayed. Rumors spread like wildfire through out school by the end of that school day, it turned out that I had sex with the guy at his party.
I was so mad, angry, my parent s were going to find out , I was going to be in big trouble, well a week went by, and well I hadn't eaten for a whole week I couldn't. I had so many knots in my stomach and was filling so guilty that I couldn’t.
I finally got up the nerve and told my parents what I had done. They were upset, mad and confused, they wonder how I could possible have done that to them. I was hurt they were hurt and a piece was gone from my heart, I promised myself that I would never do that to them again.
I found a guy that really liked me at least he seemed to anyways it lasted for 3 weeks, I was really hoping for that one month, but it ended when he said I just want to be friends, all he was doing was looking for some, that I wouldn't give, but stupid me, it was a week before prom, and his parents forced him to go with me since I asked like when we started going out. Well he left me at prom to make a story short.
But now I think I have found someone who truly likes me for me, at least he says he does. I can talk to him about anything. He loves to talk to me, and he loves talking period. And anybody who knows me knows I love to talk. Well, I want to say things are going to last with him but, I am grounded for two weeks, and I doubt he wants to be with me now because we don't get to see each other hardly now, and what am I going to do now because when I get un-grounded I have to leave for a week, but I haven't got to talk to him so I don't know. Sorry back on track, I am grounded because well I went 4-wheeling with a couple of my friends, and my parents didn't know, but they were not really that mad about that. I was going to my friends house to swim which I did but we also went 4-wheeling after that and I was suppose to be home at ten. The 4-wheel got stuck and I lost my cell phone in the woods somewhere.
I called my parents with another phone told them I lost my phone at my friends house and couldn't find it, they really didn't see how I lost it at her house and couldn't find it, but they said alright come home and you can look for it tomorrow, I was okay until, my mom got a call from a girl saying she found my phone in the woods, now my mom knew I was somewhere else. So they were ticked and I told them where I was. They were okay I think about going but they would have liked it if I called. But they were angry because I lied at where I had lost my cell phone, but it all ties in I guess.
I love my parents very much but I am 17 and graduating next year, I want to live, experience something’s now so I know, what to expect, but I feel so trapped, with no freedom, I feel like a little kid.
I think my parents are worried about letting me go but I need to live I want to live. They need to let me go.
I wonder what senior year brings!
~Stacey~