On missing my anonymity

from JoeUser Forums
Probably thing thing I miss most about JU is my anonymity. It's the reason I have a handle (Angloesque) and the reason not one of my friends or family members has the URL to this place. Back when I was a regular and checked my JU blog from any available computer, I compulsively deleted my history. (My parents probably thought I was looking at porn.)

But I've given that up: I've started anew on a simple Blogger URL, and every link on my sidebar is someone I've known for years. But it's constraining; there are things I just can't write.

I can't say, for example, how frustrating it is when two very ill-matched friends get married, get bored and have a baby. The kid's first word is going to be a four-letter whopper, if her dad's language is any indication. But he was one of my best college friends.

And I can't talk about my true opinions about people who have depression (self-diagnosis is a wondrous excuse in social situations) because, yeah, three of my friends claim to be in various stages of it.

So here's what I'd love to say in the shell of my nutty head:

Don't get married when you're 19. Don't have kids when you're in school, up to your earlobes in debt and the wife works at Wal-Mart. Don't subject your friends to "my baby farted this loud" tales. And maybe clean up your language around your baby.

As for self-diagnosed depression, well, I guess I'm not dumb enough to give this opinion anywhere outside of my head.

-A.
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4,652 views 2 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

Interesting and insightful blog! 

It'd be fantastic if more or even a few would take your advice,  I second your advice cause I've been there and done that!  meaning getting married at 19,  and using swear words around my first born,  only said sh-- a few times however darling daughter repeated it when 1 year old.  Said dada first, then mama, the sh--.

NOT cute or funny.

As for depression,  well that's pretty serious stuff.  People that are sharp probably recognize the symptoms if they have them,  however that's a tipoff to get professional help.  If they're telling you that,  that might be a cry for help too.....never know.

 

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I know whatcha mean. It is frustrating to have stuff on your mind but not feel at liberty to vent them for fear of offending someone or ruining your good name. I guess that's what can be nice about having a private blog. But a private blog can be lonely, right? I imagine that's why you opened up a new blog to share with your family / friends. After all, there are times when we want to share our innermost thoughts with our loved ones, and blogging is a great outlet for such thoughts that just don't come up in casual conversations.

Nearly everyone I know has access to my blog, but thinking that no one was reading it based on the lack of comments, I began to freely speak my mind on everything. That's when the sh** hit the fan. Turns out not only were they reading my innermost thoughts, but they were gabbing about me amongst themselves without leaving me any comments whatsoever. And there were some ugly things I wrote, thinking that no one was reading it.

My blog was originally intended to open communication in an otherwise silent family of strangers separated by thousands of miles, but it's only served to alienate me more. So now my family consists of silent voyeurs who know everything about me but I know nothing about them.

Blogs can be therapeutic but messy.

It looks like JU is still your private outlet so VENT AWAY.

As for depression, it's a pretty common thing nowadays. What people do about it is entirely up to them though. And those who suffer from it could use a caring friend.

By my experience, I've known quite a few people who have never experienced depression and probably never will, who have no compassion whatsoever for those who have. They think "depression" is an excuse, a weakness, a self-imposed flaw that can easily be reversed by simply changing one's mind. Well, the truth is depression truly sucks, it's very real, is rarely self-inflicted, and rarely can be reversed merely by changing one's attitude.

Just my little 2 cents
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