Kinda Sad today

from JoeUser Forums
Hello everyone, i am a bit down today, I guess it would help for you to all understand if I explained myself. I have always been a loner. I've never really felt the need to be attached to somone other than my immediate family and even then its usually just My mom and my brothers, my Father's relationship with me has never really existed. I am sitting here though and feeling suddenly very alone in life. I am to the realization now that I am 27 years old, alone and 350 some miles from my home in NY. This is home now and yet I am very much alone. Where did it go wrong? Where in my life did my mind suddenly decide that it needs someone other than just me in it? I am broken, or at least I feel broken. I excel at my job, I have many friends, but the one and only thing that I don't have is love, I've never known what it is to be loved by another. There are those in my life for whom I feel close to and should I lose those people I would certainly feel a great loss, so I know what it is to love them, but I don't know what it is to be loved. I don't feel complete anymore. Being gay shouldn't make this that much harder, but when you've been alone for so long, how do you know who to trust and who not to trust? Who will be the one to let in? I so yearn to feel another mans hand in mine to hug and hold and be in that one moment with someone. To each one that I feel I could though I know I can't because they are either straight or coupled with someone. If I could only feel love for one night, one quiet night of just exploring and enjoying another man, I could die a happy man, knowing that I comleted what every human on the planet wants.
It makes me very sad, so so sad. How does one ever overcome the feeling of solitude?

well I am tired now again, I shall return hopefully in a better mood
blogging
791 views 2 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Babe... I'm sorry to use such a familiar term, but you have spoken so honestly and openly that, while I don't know you, i feel like you've opened yourself up to those who will hear. I can't say that I know how it is to be gay. I can't say that I know how you feel. But what I can say is that I think that what you have said, whilst sad, is beautiful, because you obviously know yourself and know what's around you. Do you realise that you are ahead of the game? You have such an amazing future ahead of you because you know where you are. PLEASE don't give up. Straight, gay, bi, we all want each other to be happy and fulfilled.
Know that while I don't know you, I love you for being honest and upfront and I would love to hear from you again. I will be tracking your blogs, but if you want to email me, I will be ecstatic!
Suz xxx (suzikoch.joeuser.com)
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
And I am sorry that I so have probably missed the point of your blog. You have said so much and while I'm sure that you don't need my reply, I know it has been inadequate. Suz xxx
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