Banned for using a parachute to slow down your entry when the local supermarket has your fav cereal on special for 50c

Banned for you're the one spelling it incorrectly... along with so many other words where letters are either omitted or replaced with others: like S for Z., for example.

BTW, the English were spelling English correctly long before the US was a twinkle in Columbus' eye... and the cherry tree got cut down.

So banned for spelling aluminium like a Yank and calling a willy a John Thomas.  It's simply not the Queen's English, is it.

Which reminds me of the Cockney soldier in the trenches during WWI over in France.  As is often with Cockneys, he was speaking to a mate in rhyming slang when a stiff upper lip officer sternly asked: "Do you not know the King's English, private?"

"Sir, I sure 'opes 'he is.  After all, I am over 'ere fighting for the bastard."

Banned for gastronomical incidents.

Banned for hitting on aunt Merriam and asking uncle Webster to watch.

LMAO

Banned for making me laugh at a respectable hour.

Banned for mirth of the lowest order

Banned for double-posting a ban.

Banned because any dike will spill over after being subjected to a double entry.

Banned for counting on yer fingers and kicking off yer shoes to count on yer toes.

Banned for contradicting Mother Nature. She doesn't like straight lines, she thinks they're boring.

Banned for cheating on the sobriety test.

Banned for failing a sobriety test after only drinking non-alcoholic ginger beer.

Here in the sunny state of Queensland, and probably other states/territories of Australia, it is a criminal offence to refuse a breathalyser/take part in a sobriety test.  Refusing to do so results in instant arrest for testing while in custody... which can't be refused or force would be used to collect blood and other samples.

See, we Aussies know we're not free..... and neither is anybody else.